A faint, distant yearning

I think this post may sound very random, firstly because i'm in my car and secondly because i don't think anything could express what i'm feeling right now.
We just went to see my mom's friend's ami today. When she saw me she said "Raheela ka beta to nae lagta" and she smiled.
The way she spoke, she sounded Bengali. My mom had told me earlier that she was Bengali but i think i had forgotten by that time. Anyways, it was surprising that the Nani Aman (my mom's friend's ami) spoke with such enthusiasm despite the fact that both her legs were swollen to double their normal size, and it must've hurt. She was smiling and joking with everyone, and she acted like a kid. I couldn't see her face very clearly but i'm sure her eyes'd be shining. And from what I could see, she seemed kind of cute to me.
But all the while i sat there, i kept thinking. This was the first time in my life i thought of my Nani, in a manner of missing her. My own Nani. I dont remember anything at all about her. That's because she died when i was two years old. But watching this Nani Aman, i was shocked that i could miss someone i've never seen in my waking moments this much. I sat there, and tried to imagine my Nani. Ofcourse i've seen her pictures, but the picture i could make of her in my mind was of the lady who sat there infront of me. I tried to imagine what my Nani's lap would feel like when i'd put my head in it after having a fight with my mom, she tell me my how unfair my parents are and how much she loves me. She'd exaggerate and she'd tell me what i mean to her. She'd let me cry on her shoulder and i'd tell her stories about my friends. About things i ever fell in love with. I'd tell her about my days, and she'd tell me how she misses me when i'm not around. I'd tell her how she could read texts on a cellphone and she'd be surprised with how the things have turned out. I'd sit beside her and she'd knit sweaters, and i'd constantly nag her, askin her how she makes each square. I'd not let go of her. But i never really had her in the first place i think.