.

When light begins to disappear,
when night begins to show,
set my withering heart on fire,
we'll walk in its fading glow.

Rain rain

Rain rain,
lets play the game,
of hide and seek,
and stop and freeze,
from blue to brown,
to black with sounds,
the thundering wind,
and leaves that sing,
and sway with might,
left and right,
wait for you,
the green and blue,
unite the two,
and brew the brew,
of mango trees,
and clouds' fleece,
of little girls,
with waves and curls,
untying their hair,
to let the air,
fly them away,
where it may.
.
Rain rain,
lets play the game,
of storytelling,
of stellar dwellings,
of lands unseen,
of heavens green,
where you were born,
where every song,
is sweet as cane,
o rain o rain,
make us sane,
bring the change,
wet the tracks,
and mend the cracks,
bring us smiles,
and all this while,
stay right here,
and watch us cheer.
.
Rain rain,
dont play this game,
of going away,
leaving all grey,
and leaving alone,
like many have gone! 

I'll be there

You can turn your back on me when you want to,
you can stab me in the back,
you can throw sticks and stones,
you can break all my bones,
you can leave standing all alone,
you can decide not to text nor phone,
you can tear each one of my poems,
you can prove each one of your blames,
shove in flames,
all the times,
all the memories,
that sing like sweet chimes,
you can bury me down below,
not 6 feet but 7 layers and more,
you can make me walk the plank,
or leave my canvas totally blank,

practise all you can on me,
the world is not for the carefree,
i cant let you go alone,
on this road full of pricks and thorns,
whatever you do and whatever you can,
remember you'll not make me an angry man,
you can try
to disappear,
to duck,
to hurt,
to ignore,
to refuse,
to confuse,
i don't care,
whatever happens,
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

A Revolution

Your ragged blue cheeks,
you filthy lowlife scum,
damnation your fate,
they pronounce you deaf and dumb.

Your bloodshot eyes,
you dream of the sacred,
they trample you underneath,
your love is their hatred.

Rise from your ashes,
rise to flesh and blood,
awaken your heart and soul,
rise from bloody mud.
The time has come,
to fly the flag of the COMMONS,
to rise against the oppressor,
wakeup your fate now summons.

Blood,
sweat,
tears,
you gave,
its time,
to have it all back,
yes there is a crack,
sharpen the saw,
its time to draw,
your map your land,
use your own bloody hand,
lowlife you were,
filthy yes SIR!
the oppressor shall bow,
to its own slave right now,

and your ragged blue cheeks,
and the clothes you wore,
are no more torn,
ragged no more!

Our colors

Grey and blue,
thats the hue,
of bloody leaves,
and sorrow's dew,

of soot and smoke,
of ties that broke,
cough and choke,
the dreams we drew,
of bodies that fall,
hearts they maul,
of death's toll,
the soulless crew.

grey and blue,
yes thats the hue!

Heart and mind

Heart: i wanna write a post

mind: haha, watch brazil vs usa instead

heart: ummm okay, can't i do it while watching?

Heart (again): you stupid idiot! Its football. You dont stuff while watching football.

Mind: quiet!

Heart: so the match is over, now?

Mind: sometime in this life try giving me a break!

Heart: oh yeah you give me a break!

Mind: from wat?

Heart: from watever

mind: haha okay lets write a post

heart: thats more like it, about wat?

Mind: how'd i know?

Heart: how'd i know?

Mind: how'd i know?

Heart: how'd i know?

Mind: then forget it, it was your idea

heart: okay lets write our dialogue down

mind: the fingers are already doin that...oh wait haven't they messed up our dialogues?

Heart: genius its your fault, your job is to remember stuff

mind: oh yeah? Do you ever let me be free? You always have a new PROJECT coming up to keep me busy

heart: haha projects

mind: cant even think of a better word

heart: haha bloody wannabe thesauras

mind: technically you are bloodier! :)

heart: and since when have i been technical?

Mind: haha, our dialogues aren't THAT mixed up! Haha

...

When the wind stops blowing, all you can hear is your own heart. Sometimes it whispers, i remember mine used to. It used to talk.
Now, for some odd reason, whenever the wind stops blowing, i can't even feel if my heart is there. Either it has given in to my mind or i'm always so preoccupied that i let it go unnoticed.

Wait, i think i'll make a conscious effort to get the whisper back.


But, i cant pray for the wind to stop blowing right now, can i???

Late night stuff

I get these late night excitement pangs every other day for the past one week when all of a sudden i start feeling great.

Tonight, its Criss Angel who triggered it, walkin on water, though usually i'm pretty skeptical in believing in that kind of stuff, but i kind of wanted to think this was happening. So, a mental note, this was happening. What impressed me was what he said, he said something on the lines of "i want people to see that we can break free from the limits".
Limits are something i always believed to be relative. Dreams can be followed and can come true.

The second thing was pappu sain's performance. I've an obsession with percussion instruments and i literally fantasize about them. So he performed in his famous manner, goin round and round like an unhappy merry go round, and he played some really really complex stuff.

The final nail in the coffin of my sleepiness, was the national anthem of spain playing. I love it when national anthems are played at the start of football matches. So it was spain vs newzealand...and puyol the great man is playing...awesome...i'm supporting brazil thou...

Anyways, its an exam on tuesday, and i so hate it. I've just mailed mubi "hey i'm bored" and i am coz noone's talking...

Damn, torres scores a second. GOD save the newzealanders...

The most controversial post of the year......NOT

There's something i've been wondering for the past few days. To some it may sound very obvious and the question may appear very stupid, but then again all great ideas are termed nonsense in the beginning...a word of caution though, this question isn't great at all!

The question is, can you take a bath in pitch black darkness, would you know which of the parts of your body is where?
Secondly, can you eat in the dark without missing your mouth with a spoon?

I asked four people, here're the responses
mahru was the first one

mahru: o yes you can, you've had this body for how long?
Mha: one day,
mahru: and hows that true?
Mha: humans grow up, natural phenomenon, bodies change, you wont know
mahru: sigh!


The next one was jaws

jaws: i've never done it
mha: kabi to?
Jaws: nae, oh yes, but i've eaten in the dark, i've never missed my mouth but kabi aise hota k chamach khali wapas a jata plate se


faizi was next
faizi: nahaya nae kbi andhere may, but itna bewakuf to koi nae k chamach mu may na jaey
mha: but what if you want to rub your face but end up rubbing your armpit?
faizi: hahahahahahahaha
mha: sigh

the last one was SG, i texted her the second question only
sg: i cant eat in the dark because i've to separate all vegies
mha: i didn't mean that, i meant k can you miss your mouth?
Sg: hahahaha you dont know where your mouth is? You're crazy hahahaha
mha: i was just asking
sg: hahahaha you're a crazy guz
sg: guy*
mha: i have another question too, can you take a bath in the dark? I didn't ask you coz i thought bathing is a private affair and girls shouldn't be asked.
Sg: hahahaha yes you can, you can do both
mha: oh i thought i had this special ability to do stuff in the dark
sg: hahahahahahahaha you're so crazy
mha: hasna bus karo


so my question is answered, 75% of the population can eat in the dark, while only 50% can bathe in the dark. Which section of the society are you? Either you're with us or against us!

humari librari and other stories

I’ve never been in the computer section of my university library for a proper reason. A proper reason would be something related to engineering or my course work etc, since the library is called National Library of Engineering Sciences. Initially I’d facebook here but some sadistic administrator banned it. Though blogger is still safe from the guy.
When you are in the midst of so many computers and so many people you are bound to look around. I mean stealing glances doesn’t hurt does it?? The first thing you’d notice is that there are separate rows for girls and guys. Initially I thought the restriction was only self imposed by the students, but that day, an unsuspecting pair of opposite gender were working on a single computer (the girl was instructing the guy as is normally the case at uet) when the sadistic admin arrived

“Aapko pata hai ye yahan allowed nahi hai??”
“Sir Kaam kar rahay hain”
“Sorry, uth jain aaap”

so much for an interactive society.

That same day, I noticed this pretty girl using facebook in the library. I so wished the admin would catch her red handed, which he did, haha, it was kind of embarrassing bnut that very thing happened to me too a few days ago, he was like

“Appko pata hai facebook allowed nai hai yahan??”
“Nai sir”
“Chalain ab to band karain”

!@%%%#@#@ . whats with not letting people relax.

One good thing about this section of the library is that almost always its air conditioned, whatever happens, they don’t switch the ACs off, for the sake of computers I guess, I sometimes think what would the admin say if I sat here all day pretending to do work. Its too boring an idea to give it a try but I think I’ll convince someone to try that out for me :p

Now I’m not really a show off but sometimes, showing off your talent isn’t too bad. Most of the people here are actually looking at their keyboards looking for letters, then poking at them with single index fingers, get the idea??? Pretty bad typing speeds. Someone once told me

“ye typing tutors se speed nai ziada hoti, chatting se ziada hoti hai”

so using msn in the olden times worked then! This dude sitting on the next computer was also a victim of lack of instant messaging experience so while he looked for words and handled the mouse rather UNdexterously, it made it a point to type real fag as seldom at the keyboard as I could and making CLICK CLICK noises with the keys. Although I must admit the keyboard is so pathetic that I’m hating it and wondering if all the vanity is really worth it…btw, just in case people might be wondering, I don’t type too well, just a case of ANDHON MAY KAALA RAJA :p :p :D :D

Btw, I’m in really high spirits these days coz my team won the UEFA Champions League. All Hail FC Barcelona…..FORCA BARCA.... I mean I’ve been in pure ecstasy these past 2 days, dancing alone infront of the tv, texting people like crazy, I cant stop I just cant stop. We are the first Spanish team to get a treble, La Liga, Copa Del Rey and the Champions League, and that too after beating Man United 2-0 in the final. Carles Puyol the captain played like a true captain, and a true Catalan. I mean wow. And Messi, the kid is magical. I have a shair for him to end the post with

“Zara dekho to Faraz, ajab naat hai ye kaisi
Ferdinand aur O Shea k beech se header maar gaya Messi”

Waah Waah Muqarrar

of looking back

The sun turns yellow from orange as the world wakes up to a brand new morning. life opens its eyes to fresh day, as the birds realize its not the same 24hours. It seems as if everything in the universe has this realization at exactly the same instant, a realization that a Today has become a Yesterday and a new Tomorrow is knocking at the door. But not everyone appreciates this extra sensory perception, not everyone grabs it, people have different attitudes, different reactions and different ways to handle the present.
Amongst all these people, some are particularly clingy, they are not letting go of their yesterdays, and yesteryears. They cannot, for some reason let go of memories, sweet or bitter they might be. The new dawn signifies for them only the start of another 24 hours, to be spent in the memory of a past, in the memory of memories. How many of us do not realize the importance of moving on in life. Of sleeping over things that trouble us. Of letting go of friends, family, love and everything that doesn’t want to hold on to you. Certainly, so many of us claim to be able to get over stuff pretty easily, but one fleeting glance at something from the past and your lost in nostalgia once again. No matter how many things change around us, the heart refuses to budge, it refuses to wipe of each and every sign of the past. I think I’ve been wrong in my assumption. Almost every one of us has this trait and its not special to some people only. Therefore, is there a chance that this is a design characteristic in all humans?? But then why would some people act like nothing affects them, like they remember r miss nothing at all??? Is it possible that they really have succeeded in achieving what we call perfect control over their own hearts?? Maybe yes, because I have seen people who’ve slept over things so easily that it shocked me, who chose to ignore such elemental stuff that in the end, I was made to think that this is really possible, rather, even easy for some.
I’m not passing any judgments on anyone, and I’m not saying which of the options is better, every man’s heart is for himself, so is every man’s mind. People can choose to let go of their memories entirely, to move on, but it comes at a cost. The sacrifice has to be made. The cost is a part of your own self. No matter how resolute and ambitious one is, we are bound to leave a part of us in our memories. We leave ourselves behind, not just our footsteps or images, but parts of our own selves. Life goes on from there, people say “and there was no looking back”, but there’s no such thing as that. Everyone looks back, its like an instinctive action. But not all of us want to recognize what we’re seeing when we look back. Some, just choose to ignore or act ignorant, these people, have made the sacrifice.

Realization

What good is a heart that doesn't miss a beat? What good is a heart that doesn't jump, that doesn't laugh or cry, that doesn't melt when needed to?

What good is a mind that doesn't wander, that doesn't delve into its own deep forgotten secrets, that doesn't lose itself in memories?

What good is a soul thats never been looked for, that has never seen the outer world, what good is a soul that has never flown?

Wat good is pleasure without pain, triumphs in vain, joy without sorrow, a certain today without an unpredictable tomorrow?

What good is life without its glitches, without potholes, traps, heartbreaks, failure...death.

Certainly, its no good!

Where to look?

Where to look for life?
wherever there is strife,
where torture and struggle romance,
someone lost in hope's distant trance,

where to look for joy?
where sorrow is treated like a toy,
where oblivion is the way to live,
hopes they take dreams they give,

where to look for hope?
where lives hang by the thinnest rope,
which winds of despair threaten to break,
someone stands with eyes closed and faith that wont shake.

Untitled

Never let people grow on you to the extent they overcome you. Then, every small step of theirs causes a butterfly effect in your life.
Life's too precious, too important for that.
At every point of my life, i meet people, who grow on me, absent-mindedly. I need to stop that.
Need to cut it out!

Damnation

The little girl smiled at her father through the car window, waving back at him from the confines. The father held back a sigh, and put his best face on to wish his child goodbye, the mother sitting in the driving seat, trying not to look in his direction. The little girl's expression changed from a smile to a straighter face when she realised her fears were real, her father wouldn't be going with her. As the car started crawling, her waving became less enthusiastic and more lost, waving like one does to clear thick mist or haze. She cocked her head in the direction of her father for as long as she could and when the car turned a bend, she was gone.
The father let a tear drop down his cheek, he had never thought it would really come to this. Everytime, separation seemed a possibility, he thought such things happen to people in movies, and not normal people like him. Normal people who go to the office, work hard all day, come home, have a beautiful wife waiting, a beautiful daughter to tell stories to, things for these people seem perfect. Perfect but all of sudden they're made to realise life isn't a movie. Things could go wrong all of a sudden, and could stay that way. Happy endings aren't a compulsion.
He turned his back on the road, almost making a metaphorical statement as to never get out of seclusion again. But he knew picking up his pieces was the important thing to do. Yes it would sting, but it had to be done. He'd see his daughter again, maybe after months, but she'd never be the same. She'd know she could live without her father. She'd have understood that he was never an essential part of life for her, he thought. And then, he'd remain a nominal figure in her life. She'd call him dad, but wouldn't be with him. How unlucky to have someone who could care, and let them go.

He went inside and looked at his wife's picture, her flowing name of hair took his heart away the first time he had seen her years back, and now it brought only painful memories. Her eyes looking at him, though now he knew they had stopped looking for him anymore, her nose her lips, all belonged to him once, now seemed part of a beautiful portrait. Her slender hand underneath her chin gave him aching reminiscences. He remembered the hand from all the long walks around the endless web of streets, pointlessly roaming around, hand in hand. He remembered the hand from the first time he asked her out for marriage, the first ring he gave her, the first promises they took, the first time she held their daughter, the first day she took her to the new school, but most of all, he remembered the hand that signed heartless piece of paper, that decided his Damnation. He hated every bit of the picture and he loved every bit of it.
All this was too heavy for him to hold back so he let go. The walls listened in silence as his tears slid down his cheek into and around the slit of his lips. He sat down, half embarrassed at his weak self, at his helplessness.
That very moment he questioned his beliefs about his ego, his own selfishness, his selfrespect. He wished he could turn things back, and he'd be more careful. But life doesn't give two chances to everyone. He knew he had burnt all his ships, and the ashes were slowly being swallowed by the sea of time. One day, he'd probably learn to live with it, but this wouldn't be a solution. This'd be another kind of Damnation!